A poem I found on a special little girls page that touched my heart! / Momma
What Makes A Mother / I thought of you and closed my eyes And prayed to God today. I asked what makes a Mother And I know I heard him say.
A Mother has a baby This we know is true. But God can you be a Mother When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can He replied With confidence in His voice I give many women babies When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime And others for a day. And some I send to feel your womb But there's no need to stay.
I just don't understand this, God I want my baby here He took a breath and cleared His throat And then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you What your child is doing today. If you could see your child smile With other children and say We go to earth and learn our lessons Of love and life and fear. My Mommy loved me oh so much I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom Who had so much love for me I learned my lesson very quickly My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much But I visit her each day. When she goes to sleep On her pillow is where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek And whisper in her ear "Mommy don't be sad today I'm your baby and I'm here."
So you see my dear sweet one Your children are OK Your babies are here in My home And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with me Until your lesson is through And on the day that you come home They'll be at the gates for you.
So now you see what makes a Mother It's the feeling in your heart. It's the love you had so much of Right from the very start!!!
First I miss you so much and I know you know that. I would give anything to be able to watch you turn 5 years old. God it hurts to wonder what you would be like. I like to think you would be that whispy haired blue eyed little boy as I remember. I am sorry Madden that things are not different. I guess the "what ifs" never really goes away. I will question myself to the day I die. I still have my faith and my hope that I will see you again but the guilt remains too. It is hard not to place blame especially on myself as your parent your protector. It is hard not to feel as if I failed you. I know God has his reasons and I won't question him. Someday his plan will unfold and the pain will go away. It just seems so far away. But I guess time flies right. You have been in Heaven for over 4 years now and it seems like yesterday I saw your face. Why? I'll never know why in this lifetime. Keep praying for me that I can stay strong for the time I have left here. I can't wait until I can see you again. I wonder will you be 9 mos old will you be a child or a grown up? I guess I just know that it will be wonderful. My heart hurts Buddy but I know you are at peace. That allows me to go on no matter how hard it is. I just want you to know how much I love you and that I think about you every day of my life......that will never change. You are so special....you are amazing. I am glad that God allowed you to touch my life. I know I get wrapped up in this earth and I know it's not a good place. I guess I am grateful that you don't have to experience the hell on earth....you never will. I will celebrate your life tomorrow Madden....proud to have you as my child. I love you.
Baby Face / Momma
My beautiful little Baby Face. That is what I see when I think of you. Your perfect little round head flawless complexion big deep blue eyes and that whispy blonde hair. My God you were so beautiful something that only God's hands could have made. Your face is unforgetable and is embedded in my mind forever. How lucky I am to have had such an amazing child....in every way. You will never have to be scarred by this world and it's horrible things. What more could a Mother want for her child but to have a perfect painless life. That is what you have now and I think it is a blessing. You mean so much to me and I will never forget you......how could I. Thank you Jesus for giving me this truly wonderful child to love and to call my own for even a moment. Momma loves you Madden. Close
Holes in the floor of heaven... / Kylee J. (Friend)Read >>
Holes in the floor of heaven... / Kylee J. (Friend)
On this rainy day that Madden has been in heaven for four years I can't stop thinking about the song "holes in the floor of heaven"...I just know that you are looking over your family today Madden...you are sooo missed!!!
"Cause there's holes in the floor of Heaven And his tears are pouring down. That's how you know he's watching Wishing he could be here now. And sometimes if you're lonely Just remember he can see. There's holes in the floor of Heaven And he's watching over you and me."
Hey buddy today is your angel day! I cant believe you recieved your wings 4 years ago. I will never forget you you are always in my heart. I wish you were here with your family. Easton is riding 4-wheelers now so I bet you are jumping all those clouds! You better be wearing your helmit or I will get that little booty of yours. I wish I could see your face I wonder what your hair looks like (since you had just a few pieces when you were with me haha) how tall you are. I cant wait to see you agian I would give anything yo have you here with us Madden anything. Easton talks about you. You are his baby in the sky. He sometimes worries if you know where he lives and I tell him you are in his heart and that you are always watching over him because you are his special angel. Today has been hard I am taking the boys to go visit you. But I wish I could really see you anf touch that angelic pretty baby face of yours. I love you so much and this pain is never going away. I love you and I hope you have a great day because you are special!!! And I am lucky to haver such a wonderful angel in my life. I look forward to sharing my memories with easton and carson today! I love you and I promise I will hold and see you agian! Untill that day you are in my heart!
Love your favorite aunt Krista!
xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxox
ps- I bought a huge pickel last night and thought of you!
Baby Boys / Kristin (Friend)
HEy little guy I have been thinking of you today one because we went and got school supplies and Audrey is going to preschool and I was thinking how you would be going to preschool too And two because Kelly is almost 10 months old and the happiest baby ever with whitest hair you ever seen ( the little he has) but he started crawling yesterday and in one day he became this totally independent little boy and i started thinking how much they grow in 10 months and how much your love grows in 10 months and it made me think how much your mommy grew to love you in such a short time and it made me thank god for how lucky i am that 3 for 3 I have healthy kids and twice I almost lost my daughter and twice i got lucky and luck is all it is YOu have made me never take anything for granted Thank YOu and keep wtching over your mommy I know she needs you. God bless you and your family Close
Revelation 21:4 / Momma
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death neither sorrow nor crying neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Close
I wanted to post this on here for people that are hurting. I heard this the other day on a radio broadcast by a Preacher in TX, Chuck Swindoll. I love to listen to him in the mornings. He makes me feel good. He says (and the Bible says) that there are reasons for our suffering. We always ask the questions, Why me? Why is this happening? I hope it helps. Sometimes, I too look at this and go Yeah right, whatever, but it really does make sense. We all want an explanation and I believe this will be the only one we will ever get until we get to Heaven. Here is what it says:
1. We all suffer and God has a plan for all of us. We suffer in life so that we can help others that will hurt for the same reasons later on. It is to someone else's benefit that we are hurting. God wants us to help others and no one better to help than someone who has experienced the same tragedy. It is hard to accept this, but it is the truth.
2. We hurt so that we can surrender all of the pain to God, let him bare it. Trust that he will take the pain away. Maybe God does these things to bring us closer to him if we have drifted away from him. This again is hard to believe but is the truth. My experience brought me close to God. I used him to deal with the pain and to cope. It helped me. He helped me.
3. Third, we should give Thanks to God. Again this in my opinion is to bring us to him, to notice him and thank him for the wonderful things he does give us. We need to trust that this is his plan.
Just a quick note / Heather P. (Aunt to your Angel Friend Andrew )Read >>
Just a quick note / Heather P. (Aunt to your Angel Friend Andrew )
Madden-
Thank you for letting your Mommy help me through this difficult time. I know that I did not lose a sweet baby but I am an aunt to an Angel. You may have met him up there,, his name is Andrew. I know your Mommy said that you would guide him, and I am sure that you did, you sweet little boy. After reading this awesome tribute to you over and over again, and crying, and crying (not for you-I know your in the best place- but for your Mommy and my sister), and listening to the beautiful lyrics of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", I know that the love your Mommy has for you is endless. Please watch over her and your family, and if you could let Andrew know to do the same we would appreciate that as well:) Show Andrew all of the fun things that we will miss seeing him do (oh and teach him how to swim, I hear your good at it!!!), and let him know that we love him soooo much and miss him dearly.
LOVE YOU / Krista Meyer (your favorite aunt )Read >>
LOVE YOU / Krista Meyer (your favorite aunt )
Hey Madden,
Sorry I havn't been on here in awhile but your on my mind everyday. But anyways I got a new computer yea go me Im moving on up in this century i got a lab top WHOO HOOOW!!! lol but anyways your birthday celebration was wonderful. I hope you got my balloon, mine was stuck in the tree. I was like what why my balloon! but hey maybe we were saving the best for last right. You got your new headstone, about time. That dang cemetary trying to just touch yours up ha like we would let that slide, you deserve the best because well i may be prejudice but your the best angel in heaven so guess what you deserve the best. Easton had his 4th birthday party I know you were there and i lit your special candle all day so you would know that i have not forgotten you. I just wanted you to know that during Eastons milestones you are always there a step ahead (since your 5 weeks older)of him doing the same thing with jesus. i wish you were with us, maybe Easton would have got his face painted by the clown if he would have seen you do it. I know you would have done it. Funny I swear you and carson are just alike. Crazy, wild boys that never stop and don't want to miss a beat. Carson is now climbing like a monkey out of his crib, crazy kid. and easton and kieryn are just alike very go with the flow, laid back do things at their own time. I would give anything to see the 4 of you guys together. That would be one heck of a sight (id probaly pull my hair out at the end of the day from all you little monkeys) but I wouldnt trade you guys for anything. Each one of you are so special and have the most of my heart. I love you and miss you everyday. Its very hard for me when i think about all this because its not fair. People are wrong when they say time heals becasue it don't. IT gets harder because everyday would have been a new adventure for you, a new first, but those days will never come and that just makes me wonder what would you being doing in that situation. Your first day of preschool would you have been like see ya mom or cling to her becasue you were nervous about entering a new place. My guess you would have been like see ya and found a friend that day and then would have went home and told mom and dad all about your day. See theres so many things that I know your doing with jesus but I just want to see your expresions, your actions, know your feelings. I could go on forever. With all this said you know I love you and I will always love you . You were the best first nephew anyone could ask for. Theres only one thing that still bothers me and probaly always will. When I first seen you in the hospital the day you were born I didnt hold you. I have no idea why, scared, nervous I dont know but that bothers me so much. But I do have to say that round head of yours was so cute! thats also when you had some hair then you became that perfect bald headed baby i came to know and love. Well I need to go to bed I could talk to you forever! i LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER!
PS- DONT FORGET TO EAT YOU PICKELS OOPS I MEAN VEGETABLES
To Grandma's Precious Lil Guy / Debbie Fransos (Grandma)Read >>
To Grandma's Precious Lil Guy / Debbie Fransos (Grandma)
To my precious lil guy-I just have an urge to write down some thoughts. I am really missing you, your precious little smile. You were always on the go 100 mph. This time of year is so hard. It is a beautiful time of year but yet sad since we lost you. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you. It is hard to believe it has been 3 years. Sometimes your brother reminds me so much of you. I know you are doing fine where you are and will never have to suffer this world. Your days are filled with love, laughter and sunshine. That is all we could hope for you. Even though we are here suffering every day. Your memory lives on and we will never, ever stop talking about you and how much you are loved. Your life may have been short but you lived every day to the fullest and those days were filled with nothing but love from your family. Your brother will know you and how much you are loved. I wear you every day and constantly get compliments on how cute you are. But we already know that! I want to thank you for all the joy you brought into our life and for teaching me how to be a Grandma. Always remember my parting words, Grandma loves you! Close
Happy 4th Birthday, Madden - / Grandma Debbie (Grandma)
You are 4 today. The day you were born was such a joyous day. You were the most perfect baby. So cute. You still are. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you. Sometimes I can still see you crawling around our house so fast with that beautiful big smile you had. Sometimes your swing moves and I still see your smiling face when we would swing you. Lil Doo Doo's swing. That is what your Grandpa called you. Litttle Doo Doo. You will never know how much joy you brought into my life. You taught me how to be a grandmother. I have so much love for you in my heart. That will never go away. The love that a grandmother feels for her grandchildren is so great. It's like you get a second chance. I am so sorry you are not here with us but know that you are in our hearts and thoughts every day no matter what we are doing. Your memory will live on and know you will never be forgotten. I know you will have a special day in heaven today. Each child is truly a blessing. Always remember, Grandma luvs you!!!! XOXOXO Close
Thinking about you........... / Momma
Hi my little Angel in Heaven. I went to the Angel of Hope tonight for your annual candlelight memorial. I closed my eyes and the tears ran down my face as I thought of you. They were mixed tears of happy memories and the pain I feel from missing you. The message that Tom O'Neil said was exactly what I would have felt. He said that the pain you feel in losing a child is a connection to the child you lost. As a parent, I don't want to let go of the pain, because then it feels as if I am letting go of you. That is so true but he made me feel like it was ok to let go of the pain and that you will always be in my heart. Losing the pain is not losing you. I will see you again one day and will spend eternity with you. I feel really sad Madden and I don't know what to do. You know why I am sad and I wish you could tell me what to do. I want to be happy and I think I deserve that. Just pray for Momma that whatever is meant to be will be. Pray for my happiness and Daddy's too. I love you with all of my heart and that will never change. Thank you for being such a huge part of my life and for giving me the chance to get to love you so much. I am blessed to have had you in my life because you taught me what it is like to love someone without limits. Until I see you again......Momma luvs. xoxoxoxoxoxo Close
He's here / Kristin
My son came on October 21st at 7:51 am at St John's just like you, he was delivered C- Section by Dr. Pignotti he weighed 6lbs 9oz and was 19 inches long just like your mommy said you were. He has a perfectly round bald head like you did in your pictures, I hope he is half as cute as you were. His name is Kelly James and so far he is a really good baby. I have been thinking of you and your mommy since he was born and I hope you are his angel and will keep him safe like you do your little brother. I am always praying for your family Madden I hope they are all well. Love Kristin Close
I just love when I get to say your name. It is such a beautiful name for such a beautiful little boy. I can't believe it has been as long as it has. It seems like yesterday I was holding you in my arms. I miss that feeling. I get to hold your brother but he is not you and never will be. I can't wait til the day I get to be with you again. I don't ever want you to think that I have forgotten you because you are on my mind each day. I wish there was a way I could trade places with you so that you could grow up with your brother. God has his reasons but I guess I will just never understand them. I try to always remember that you are in a wonderful place but sometimes I get lost in my selfishness and I want you here with me. I just want you to know how much you mean to me. You are my #1 and nothing or no one will ever change that. I am just scared that I will forget our memories and I don't want that Madden. You mean the world to me. I love you so much Madden, you will always be my little Poop McGoopen! xoxoxo
thank heaven for little boys / Kristin
hey Madden I have been thinking of you lately since i found out our baby is a boy and i have never had a boy. i was thinking that maybe you met before God sent him here and maybe he has played with you in the Angel playground. I can't wait to to have a little boy around the house i will think of you evertime we play cars or boats and I know someday we will meet and play all day for there is no such thing as time in heaven so it will be as if we alredy knew eachother. sleep tight little guy i am thinking of you and your mommy all the time. love kristin Close
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